Here we sit, at the tail end of another year. I suppose that many of you, like me, thought that 2021 would see the end of covid. Sometimes life doesn’t work out the way we’d like. 2021 just saw the extension of 2020. In a way, both years seemed to blend into one. The way that 2022 is looking, we could be covid year 3.
Given that those years seemed to blend, answer me this. How is it that I sat at my iPad in January and within what sees like a blink of an eye, we are now in December? It’s crazy. Well, my friends, this year is even crazier for me. Bear with me and I’ll tell you why.
Firstly, my birthday is on Christmas Day. That is a strange day for a birthday. The second reason is that my beautiful soulmate and husband is not here anymore. I lost him to an autoimmune disease in 2019. He would have loved my 50th. My husband would go all for birthdays. He loved them, especially mine and his own! He loved to celebrate mine on Christmas Day and would always remember something random that I had said about something I loved. Yes, you’ve guessed it. It would appear. One year, a Pandora bracelet. One year, trip to the theatre and a few nights away. One year, a saxophone! For his own birthday, he took great pleasure in starting it on Australian time and finishing it on uk time, stretching it out for himself by 10 hours!!
When I was 40, I had a party. I was cajoled into it, if I am honest. I didn’t enjoy it. Anyone that knows me, knows how much I hate parties. I’m quite happy in my own company, just the way I was built I’m afraid. Too much like my dad in that respect…..I don’t have my Mums “go all out for every celebration” gene! Let me elaborate, I’m happy to throw a dinner party, get together, when someone else is the centre of attention. I’m just not comfortable when that someone is me
But this year is different. I’m 50. I am grabbing this celebration with 2 hands and shaking it for all it’s worth. As I turn 50, life circumstances have changed. No husband or Mum, I have been through cancer and come out the other side, house moves, family illness in the UK and more…. I figured that now it was my turn. I was going to do what I wanted to do. Do what felt right. I decided a few months back, that fifty was for me. Fifty was my “part 2”
First things first…. writer! Little did I know, ten years ago when I was celebrating my 40th in our little Sinnamon Park house, that I would be a writer. Was it planned? Nope! Were the aspirations there? Yes, from a long time ago. Why hadn’t I been a writer before? Because I had a long nursing career. That’s why. I have achieved a lifetime ambition. I am a published writer, to the tune of two books and a website.
Did I anticipate that my 50th would be no mum, no husband? I certainly didn’t. Did I anticipate covid stopping my brother and sister-in-law from coming over? No. Did I dream that my mother-in-law and brother-in-law would not be able to get here, when we planned this in 2019? No.
So, I decided a small 50th celebration would happen. But you know what…. Dad and I are together. That’s all that matters!
