& a little about gender equality
If I said “man” to you, you might laugh and tell me how your man never does the housework. You might tell me that he hates you going out with your girlfriends. You might tell me that he has unreasonable expectations of your role as a wife, mother and worker. You might say, he’s a great cook. You might tell me what a wonderful man he is. The other day on Facebook I saw a video from a random woman who was talking about men in general. This is what she asked. “Where have all the proper men gone?”
What did she mean? Well, I’ll tell you. She was looking for a man that held a door open; paid for a meal; did not expect sex at the end of the night; made her feel safe and had no expectations of her until she was ready. She didn’t want equality; she had no desire for that. She was just looking for those core values such as provision and protection.
I interviewed another woman about her husband to see what her opinions and values were. She said “Looks are irrelevant. They’re just not important. What matters is love, respect and how safe he makes me feel. When he puts his arms round me, it’s like nothing can penetrate them. He protects me. I don’t need a sole provider. Our job is to do that together as a couple. I know from how he looks at me, that he loves me deeply and fiercely. That’s a gift he gives me, every moment of every day. We hate being apart and love every second together. It’s cliché, but it’s perfect.”
The role of man and gender equality.
The role of man and gender equality. Seven words that can light the spark of a fire and encourage global debate. Every woman wants something different and every man’s idea of provision for their wife and family will never be the same as the next. There will be some men that will suggest that their role is husband, father, provider and protector. There are some that will say they are one half of a partnership that shares income and workload.
We often hear discussion of the feminist movement and how women want equality. Do women want equality in every aspect of their life? How do we find a balance that pleases everyone?
Societal Roles of Man
The role of man in society has changed over the years. While being the dominant partner and provider may have been the traditional male way, it has evolved into a form of equality and joint caregiving. The role of man has altered with changing societal values and definitions of masculinity.
Masculinity refers to the traditional traits, behaviours, and qualities that are commonly associated with/or expected of men and boys, such as strength, dominance, aggressiveness, self-reliance, competitiveness, emotional restraint, and independence. These traits have been historically and culturally valued in men and are often seen as contrasting with more stereotypically feminine traits like passivity, emotional expressiveness, sensitivity, and nurturing. However, it is important to note that these conceptions of masculinity are socially constructed and can vary across cultures and time periods, and that they are not necessarily inherent to all men or incompatible with feminine qualities.
There has also been a tradition of men in society being the breadwinner for the family, earning money to support them while maintaining a sense of strength and dominance at the forefront of the family. Compare that of course, to the roles of the female in the traditional family unit who have been expected to be passive in nature, while nurturing and caring for the family group.
Workforce changes & reducing discrimination
But lives, traditions and values have changed and are continuing to do so. More women are entering the workforce, leading to changes in traditional values and ideals. There are many laws that are aimed at promoting gender equality and reducing discrimination in various areas of Australian society, such as:
Sex Discrimination Act 1984: This act makes it unlawful to discriminate against a person based on their sex, gender identity, intersex status, marital or relationship status, pregnancy or potential pregnancy, breastfeeding, or family responsibilities.
Workplace Gender Equality Act 2012: This act requires non-public sector organisations with over 100 employees to report to the Workplace Gender Equality Agency on workplace gender equality indicators such as pay equity, representation of women in leadership positions, and flexible work arrangements.
Paid Parental Leave Act 2010: This act provides eligible working parents with up to 18 weeks of paid parental leave at the National Minimum Wage.
Equal Opportunity for Women in the Workplace Amendment Act 2012: This act amended the Equal Opportunity for Women in the Workplace Act 1999 to broaden the scope of the government agency responsible for promoting gender equality in the workplace to include men as well as women.
Family Law Act 1975: This act provides a framework for the division of property and financial arrangements following the breakdown of a marriage or de facto relationship, including provisions which aim to ensure that spousal maintenance and asset division are fair and equitable.
Men in the home
There is a growing trend in gender equality in the home. Just as women step into the traditional male roles in the workplace, they are expecting the same of their men, wanting them to step into what was traditionally perceived as female roles in family life .
Men are expected to partake in an equal role in raising their children, sharing household duties and supporting a partner. A comment on a social media post recently talked of childcare roles and said “Mothers are expected to get on with it, but fathers are praised for stepping up and helping. What’s the difference? They’re a parent. Why should they be praised and not mothers?” Perhaps that’s a discussion for another day.
While talking about husbands and wives sharing household roles, I interviewed local woman who said, “My husband and I had three children close in age. He went to work and was the breadwinner and he liked to come home to dinner on the table after his work.” Some women will find that statement “I want to come home to dinner” appalling but for this wife and her husband the system worked well. She dealt with home, and he dealt with the provide and protect role.
A second woman I talked to said, “I was the main wage-earner. I earned more than my husband. It never bothered him. We shared things. Whoever was home first started dinner. If one was off and the other was working, the person off, did the housework/shopping etc. If we had children, he would have stayed home while I continued to work. It made more sense that way.”
Male behaviour
At the same time as roles of men change, the way a man behaves undergoes a criticism that has a core in issues such as violence against women and toxic masculinity. Men are being encouraged to examine attitudes and behaviours towards women, both physically and verbally, and to change their behaviour from now on. The aim being to foster a healthier relationship, whether that relationship is work, home or somewhere in between.
Despite all in their path, men face social pressures. We see a woman cry and our reaction is different to seeing a man cry. We may not like to admit it, but it is. Men are expected to be confident and emotionally tough but as a result of continually maintaining societal norms, man’s mental health can deteriorate. The role of man changes over time, just like any other social construct. What we see in men now was not what was seen a hundred years ago. It will be different again fifty years from now. Men, as do women, need freedom to define their own roles and freedom from being judged.
In conclusion, the role of man and gender equality is a complex and constantly evolving topic. While traditional gender roles continue to shift towards equal partnership and caregiving, societal pressures and expectations can still present challenges for men. It’s important to recognise that there is no one-size-fits-all approach, and that every couple and family is free to define their own roles and expectations. Ultimately, mutual respect, communication, and finding a balance that works for everyone involved are key to fostering healthy relationships and promoting gender equality.
