Friday 27 September
Beauty – What do you see when you look in the mirror?
Ever looked in the mirror, turned sideways and wondered ‘am I smuggling cushions under my clothes?’ No? Liar, liar, pants of fire. We have all done it. We’ve all stood at the mirror breathing in and wondering where the extra weight has come from. More importantly, who do we blame it on? Menopause? Thyroid issues? What we are eating?
First off, let’s talk about the first glance. You know, that split second when you catch yourself off guard. It’s like bumping into an old friend you haven’t seen in years. You squint, lean in closer, and then realization hits. “Oh my god, is that a wrinkle? Have I always had that many chins? When did my hairline start drifting away from my forehead?”
The joys of aging. The mirror doesn’t lie, they say. But it would be nice if it could learn to fib a little, just for our sake. Give us a flattering filter, like those apps that smooth out the skin & widen the eyes. Instead, we get the raw, unfiltered truth: dark circles that could rival a panda’s!
But let’s not be too hard on ourselves. The mirror is just reflecting what’s there, and what’s there is a masterpiece in progress. That is how we should view it, view ourselves. Sure, it’s a masterpiece that might need a little touch-up—a dab of concealer here, a swipe of mascara there, maybe an entire can of hairspray for that rebellious fringe—but a masterpiece, nonetheless.
Do not forget the good days though. You know, the rare moments when you look in the mirror and think, “Hey, not bad!” Your skin is glowing, your hair is cooperating, and your outfit actually looks like it was chosen on purpose, not just the least-wrinkled choice from the laundry basket. You give yourself a little smile and walk away feeling like you’ve got this whole adulting thing down. Sure, by noon, your hair will frizz out like it’s auditioning for a 1980s music video, but for now, you’re rocking it.
But beauty isn’t just about the physical. It’s about how you feel inside, and if you’re anything like me, the inside is a bit of a mixed bag. Some days, you feel like a radiant goddess, capable of conquering the world—or at least getting through the day without spilling coffee on your shirt. Other days, you feel like a human version of a “before” photo in a makeover show. The mirror can’t show your inner beauty, though it might hint at your inner exhaustion, especially after a night of tossing and turning over whether or not you locked the front door.
In the end, what we see in the mirror is a combination of reality and perception. We always see our flaws, our insecurities, and the parts of ourselves that we wish we could change. But we must remember to see our strengths, our resilience, and the unique quirks that make us who we are. The mirror might reflect our appearance, but it’s our attitude that shapes how we interpret that reflection.
Saturday 7 September
Life is short – save the memories
It’s said that life is short, but no one ever mentions that it is also a comedy show where you are the star, director, and sometimes the clumsy extra tripping over stage props. If you’re anything like me, you have had more “Wait, did that just happen?” moments than you can count. Let’s be honest—those are the memories that are worth saving.
The Lost Chronicles of Daily Life
Begin with the average day, because that is where the magic happens, or more accurately, where the absurdity unfolds. Like that time, I tried to multitask by holding a coffee mug, scrolling through my phone, and trying to put on shoes at the same time. Spoiler alert: coffee does not mix well with socks, but hey, I saved a memory and gained a new level of respect for my washing machine.
How about the time I was in a rush to leave the house, only to spend 10 minutes searching for my keys… that were in my hand the entire time. That’s a classic moment that’s been relived more than once. It’s moments like these that make me question my life choices, but they also make for exceptional stories to tell when you need a good laugh—or when you need to remind yourself that you are not losing it. Not completely, anyway. See where I am coming from – all memories to treasure!
The Great Technological Fail
Technology, our so-called friend, has a way of turning simple tasks into epic quests and great memories. There is the time that a certain man in my life decided to send me a text that was, let’s just say, a little saucy. For context, he’d been away for 10 days and was missing me! But that little text ended up being sent to someone else. Technology fail of the highest degree. Saucy text goes to mother-in-law instead of wife!! That was a memory that has stood the test of time and is still brought up to this day!
Epic Culinary Catastrophes
Cooking is supposed to be therapeutic, right? That is what they say, but those people have clearly never tried to make a cake in a kitchen the size of a shoebox. My culinary escapades are more like episodes of ‘Survivor’: Will the cake rise? Will I remember to turn off the oven? Will I accidentally set off the smoke alarm? (Answer: Yes, no, and sometimes, yes.) Again, all memories, things you will smile at in days/years to come.
The Social Media Circus
In the age of social media, every moment is a potential memory to save, but not all memories are created equal. I remember the time I posted a status update of a book review, and a few people took affront to it? That was a sad memory for me as someone I had considered a friend, walked away from our friendship on the strength of my review. Life can become a social media circus as everyone wants to be part of current trends without looking at the big picture while considering other people’s opinions.
But there is the joy of revisiting old posts and memories. You know, the ones where you thought you were being deep and philosophical, but you were just hungry and waiting for a pizza delivery.
Saving the Memories, One Laugh at a Time
So, how do you save these precious memories? It’s simple: don’t try too hard. Snap a few photos, jot down a note, or just keep them stored in that weird and wonderful filing cabinet in your brain. Share them with friends, retell them until they become legends, and, most importantly, laugh at yourself often. Life is too short to take seriously
In the end, the memories that matter most are not the perfectly curated ones but the spontaneous, ridiculous, and hilariously imperfect ones. So go ahead, embrace the chaos, make a fool of yourself, and save the memories. Life’s too short to do anything else.
Tuesday 3 September
Concepts of time
Time slithers through our lives like a caffeinated sloth on roller skates. It’s a concept we chase, try to manage, and occasionally curse when we realise we have lost an hour scrolling through memes on social media. Time, it’s said, waits for no one, which is ironic because it seems to take forever when you’re stuck in a queue.
Consider this: we’ve invented countless ways to measure time; clocks, watches, calendars, and for the truly adventurous, hourglasses that look like they’ve been borrowed from a Dumbledores office at Hogwarts. Yet, despite our best efforts, time remains as unpredictable as the weather in England—changing its mind frequently and often leaving us scrambling for an umbrella or regretting not bringing sunscreen.
Now, let’s talk about the sheer audacity of time management gurus who swear by their productivity hacks. They promise that by waking up at 5 AM every day and chanting positive affirmations to a picture of a sunrise, we can bend time to our will. Yes ok. I don’t know about you but I’m not buying that one!
Think about all those existential moments when time seems to slow down—like waiting for the microwave to finish, or worse, waiting for someone to text you back. It’s as if time mocks us, saying, “Oh, you thought I was linear? How cute!” Time is a shapeshifter, a trickster that plays hide and seek with our deadlines and appointments.
We must not forget those timeless (pun intended) expressions about time: “Time flies when you’re having fun,” heard that one? But have you ever noticed how time also flies when you’re staring blankly at your screen, wondering where the last hour went? It’s like time has a selective memory, choosing to sprint or stroll depending on its mood and our level of procrastination.
Speaking of which, procrastination deserves a nod in this narrative about time. It’s the art of convincing oneself that there’s always tomorrow, even though time has a habit of laughing in the face of such optimism. Procrastination is a dance with time, a tango where we try to lead but often find ourselves awkwardly stumbling over our own feet.
Time is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma, sprinkled with a generous serving of irony. It’s our constant companion and occasional nemesis, reminding us that while we can count the hours, we can never truly capture its essence.
Note to self: Am I still singing to 80s music that’s almost 50 years old? How did that happen!!!!
Monday 26 August
The animals came in two by two….
We are not even out of winter yet. The ‘creatures’ of Australia are usually still hibernating, yet today, the first two came to the house for a visit.
When dad and I got back from Bunnings (that’s the Aussie version of B&Q for my English friends), he let me know that there was a “dead huntsman behind the door of the utility room.” I managed to look cool and calm as I ducked in there, armed and ready with the large Dyson. The smaller wall mounted one was just not going to cut it! I look behind the door thoroughly expecting to see a dead Huntsman with its legs in the air, but it’s not there. I located it over by the back door and managed to vacuum it up.
Roll forward several hours and imagine this. Picture the scene. I’ve dealt with one spider and I’m pottering around my side of the house vacuuming and mopping (no, not at the same time!) Out of the corner of my eye I think I see something. You know that feeling when you aren’t sure, but something isn’t ringing true!! So, there I am, stood stock still, vacuum in one hand and Mortein bug spray in the other. Could I see anything? No…so I move the plant…. Now I see it. Clinging with a death grip to the side of the plant pot and attempting to race up the plant towards my hand. Let’s just say, he didn’t ‘cling’ for long. Spider number 2 of the day dealt with. The first two huntsman of the season have visited us.
With the Huntsman encounter successfully navigated, what’s next on the Aussie adventure list? Ah, the magpies. From now until the end of October, we’re in what is technically known as ‘swooping season!’ If you dare to disturb mumma magpie near her nest, rest assured, she’ll make her displeasure known with gusto. So, tread lightly, keep your eyes peeled, and savour the thrill of encountering Australia’s feathery sentinels in their natural, protective element.
Wednesday 21 August
Human Kindness
In a world that often seems dominated by competition and self-interest, the concept of kindness stands out as a beacon of hope and humanity. “Kind” is an adjective that describes a person or action characterised by a friendly, generous, and considerate nature.
A kind individual typically shows empathy, compassion, and a willingness to help others without expecting anything in return. Kindness involves actions and behaviours that promote the well-being and happiness of others, often through small acts of generosity or thoughtfulness. Cultivating kindness is essential in our daily lives.
I have had kindness shown to me on many occasions. Kindness from my late husband was a surprise dinner, an unexpected gift, and weekly flowers. Kindness from my late mum was lunch during a shopping trip, enjoying a tub of ice cream together or a surprise gift. Kindness from one of my friends was different altogether.
I was clearing my house after the loss of Mark. I had many jobs to do, some of which I was not looking forward to! My friend came back to my house after we had had lunch and in one sentence showed more kindness to me than I could have predicted. “Give me the worst job, the one job you really don’t want to do.” she said. 14 words that restored my faith in humanity.
She got a job, the one job I had been leaving until I had no choice but to do it. Disconnecting my surround sound tv system. Pulling all the wires out and winding them up. Making sure the right wires stayed with the right appliance or speaker. When you have a 7.1 surround sound system, there are a lot of speakers and wires!!
You know what? At the worst time of my life, the two of us had the most laughs. That is a friend. Someone who can bring out the smiles in you when you least feel like it. That is kindness.
Saturday 17 August
The Quirks of the Everyday Mind
Ah, the human mind—a beautifully complex mess of thoughts, quirks, and occasional absurdities. If our brains were an amusement park, it would be a combination of a funhouse, a roller coaster, and that one ride you’re not quite sure is safe but you’re too intrigued to pass up.
The Great Grocery Store Mystery
Ever been to a grocery store with a shopping list that looks like a detailed plan for a Michelin-starred meal, only to come home with nothing but a gallon of milk and a questionable number of snack foods or you’ll spend twenty minutes debating the merits of twelve different types of cereal. This is your brain’s way of ensuring that you stay alert, because, obviously, the decision of whether to buy Frosted Flakes or Cocoa Puffs is a matter of great importance.
The Shower Epiphany
There’s something about the shower that transforms your brain into a creative think tank. You’ll be washing your hair and suddenly have a breakthrough idea for your novel, solve the world’s energy crisis, or come up with a brilliant comeback for an argument that happened two years ago. Just as you’re about to make a mental note of your genius, you get distracted from shampoo in the eyes and realise you’ve forgotten all of it. You exit the shower with a sense of intellectual superiority and absolutely nothing to show for it.
The Impromptu Karaoke Session
You’re alone at home, and suddenly you’re the lead singer of a band on a world tour, belting out your favourite tunes with the conviction of a Grammy-winning artist. Your brain convinces you that you sound amazing, even though your neighbours are likely questioning the status of your mental health. It’s amazing how your brain transforms a mundane moment into a full-blown performance complete with dramatic gestures and questionable dance moves.
The Social Interaction Analysis
After a casual conversation with a colleague or acquaintance, your brain becomes an overzealous analyst, replaying the conversation over and over like a sports highlight reel. You’ll dissect every word, intonation, and gesture to the point where you’re convinced that you’ve single-handedly caused an international incident because you accidentally said, “nice shoes” instead of “nice suit.” The post-conversation analysis becomes a full-on forensic investigation.
The Bedtime Procrastination
At bedtime, your mind turns into a late-night talk show host. You’ll start thinking about your life’s purpose, existential dilemmas, or why you never finished that novel you started three years ago. All of a sudden, the unfinished tasks of the day become insurmountable challenges that must be addressed before you can sleep. Your brain will also offer you advice on how to fix every problem in your life, typically around 2 AM, when the only thing you’re solving is the mystery of why you’re still awake.
The Unsolved Mystery of the Lost Item
There’s nothing quite like the thrill of losing your keys, wallet, or phone, and the subsequent search mission. Your brain decides that retracing your steps is an exercise in futility, so you end up checking the most improbable places: the freezer, under the couch, and in the washing machine. The real kicker is when you find the missing item in the exact spot you checked five times, suggesting that your brain is playing a cosmic joke on you. Usually, the joke plays out just as you’re dropping off to sleep.
The quirks of the everyday mind are what make us human, adding layers of comedy to the mundane and turning the ordinary into extraordinary mental adventures. Embrace these eccentricities; they make life just a little bit more interesting and a whole lot funnier.
Thursday 15th August
Urban Life: – Busy Streets, Green Spaces and Culture.
Urban life: For some, urban life may be a small village. For some it’s the local town. For me when I lived in the UK, urban life was London. From my home, I could be in the city in 30 minutes by train. This was a frequent occurrence, just to go out for the day or to the theatre, out for a drink or to ‘people watch’. London was and remains a rich tapestry of life.
Whether it be history, culture, its streets, parks or simply the endless flow of people, London has something for everyone. It offers up iconic landmarks, think Big Ben, Tower Bridge, Houses of Parliament, Buckingham Palace, Marble Arch, to name just a few. London offers a blend of old-world charm and contemporary vibrancy that captivates residents and visitors alike. Navigating through London is an art form. Whether it be via the Underground, the overland trains, the iconic red bus or the black cabs, there is a way to get everywhere. However, sometimes the best way is to walk and explore.
Whenever we went to London, we had a base route we’d follow. Train to Tottenham Court Road. Wander down Tottenham Court Road, Oxford Street and Regent Street. Then it would be Piccadilly Circus and over to Leicester Square. We would then troop off to Covent Garden and finally end up at the Embankment before getting the train home again. Why did we follow this route? It ticked our boxes. Shops. Tourist attractions. Potential theatre trip. Market and the Tattershall Castle.
But it’s not just the hustle and bustle, not just the quaint pubs and markets that hold a certain amount of charm. It’s the green areas too. Think Hyde Park and Serpentine Lake. Think Regents Park and the infamous London Zoo. Think Hampstead Heath and Primrose Hill, all beautiful in their own way. Throw into the mix the plethora of museums that dot the London landscape. the National History Museum and Science Museum. The Bethnal Green Museum of Childhood. the London Transport Museum and the British Museum; each one holding a cacophony of information, sounds and stories ready to amaze your senses.
Food in London is a journey across continents. Borough Market entices with artisanal cheeses, freshly baked breads, and exotic spices that reflect the city’s culinary diversity. Trendsetting eateries in Soho and Covent Garden cater to discerning palates with innovative fusion cuisine, while traditional pubs beckon with hearty fare and a pint of ale. Whether indulging in a Michelin-starred feast or grabbing a curry on Brick Lane, London’s food scene promises a gastronomic adventure at every turn.
There is a rhythm to London life. Not just the rhythm and hum of the traffic, but the pomp and circumstance that the city can give. From Buckingham Palace and the Changing of the Guard to sporting events. From carnivals in Notting Hill to the London Marathon, there is something for everyone.
Above all, London is a city of contrasts and contradictions. Its new v old. It’s skyscrapers v houses. Its markets v sleek department stores. Its offices v theatres. Most of all, it’s a city of resilience, ever changing to meet new cultures and demands. To live in London, is to really live. To live in London is to experience everything that life has to offer.
Oh, and never leave London without seeing “Les Miserables.” You’ll thank me!
Wednesday 7 August
Cafés and Conversations:
In the heart of any bustling city or village, you will always find a café. The café is a heartbeat to the urban life that flows around it. It’s a place for espresso, cappuccino and conversation. Any café that you step in to, (I’ll be willing to put money on this statement), will lead you the soul of the community. Almost like a tapestry, each thread a story, interaction or encounter.
In any café, there are a plethora of characters. A creative mind sits at one table, surrounded by a laptop, books and handwritten notes. Who is the creative mind? Maybe she is an aspiring writer. The table next door hosts animated discussion. Two businessmen engage in animated conversation, their voices rising and falling, punctuated by laughter and a nod of the head.
In the corner, an elderly lady reads a newspaper, ‘a proper newspaper’ she will explain, ‘not that electronic newspaper stuff.’ A cappuccino in one hand and a pen in the other, she is aiming to finish the crossword. The next table is lit by young love, that effervescent glow and hushed tones, where new love is lost in its own world. Everyone has a cheerful smile as they remember their own memories.
While the café is the heartbeat to the urban life, who is the heartbeat of the café? That title goes to the barista. Without the barista, there is no café, no cake and no coffee. Without the barista there is no banter and no familiarity. When a customer enters the café and doesn’t have to tell the barista his order, it’s a testament to the many interactions they’ve had. The exchange between them is familiar and jovial, a joy to see.
If you allow yourself to take that step back and look around the café, time can slow. Moments of connection are born in a world that normally would let them past by. Debates are had. Dreams are shred. Friendships forged. It’s a human experience. A café is more than a coffee shop. It’s a gateway to a different world.
Tuesday 30 July
Routines
I have a question. Come on reader, get ready. My question is simple. Do you have a morning routine? Is it something complex that changes all the time or is it something so simple that you almost do it on autopilot?
Routines. Those delightful little rituals that make life predictable enough to be sane and unpredictable enough to keep you guessing.now, I’m a freelancer so don’t have the blaring alarm clock each day to whisk me out of bed, into the shower and out the door. But I still have alarm. Why? It’s my routine.
Tablets at 8am, first job of the day. No matter how much water I swallow with them, why do they still never go down in one go! I could stick my head in the Maroochy River and drink that with my pills and I guarantee one would still be stuck at the back of my throat! The joys of aging!
Breakfast is about an hour after I get up. My time starts with a coffee. A proper ‘dad made’ coffee. No instant stuff. Full on Breville machine that makes all the right noises in all the right places, a symphony if you will! Morning news is read via the iPad. Thank you The Daily Wire for my sensible USA update. And there you have it, that first hour of the day, relax with the papers and coffee.
I’m a freelance writer so heading out to work is not on my morning routine. I don’t even need to head to a desk! My chair is so comfortable that I can flip open the laptop and have 1000 words written before my breakfast. The plus side for me is no gossiping people wanting to know the ins and outs of every single thing you did. No passive aggressive notes from a boss and no meetings that go on longer than the Labour Party Conference!
Dinner routine is variable. My dad and I share his house, so dinner needs to ideally meet both our desires. I’m not a microwave meal girl unless it’s warming up leftovers from last night. I am happiest when I am pottering around the kitchen. After dinner, it’s a few episodes of our favourite series. We’ve done Band of Brothers, The Pacific, Peaky Blinders, The World at War, The West Wing, Star Trek (the next generation) and more.
And so, dear reader, embrace your routines. They’re the quirky dance steps that keep life interesting, even when you step on your own toes.
Saturday 20 July
Am I weird because I find housework therapeutic?
Every other week when Dad goes off to the camera club, I dive into the housework. Do get me wrong, I do some in between those times, but his camera club night is the one night I can do floors etc without getting in his way. I’ve been told I’m weird as I find housework therapeutic. Ok, don’t answer that!
Housework, that age-old chore that some love to hate. Forget the ‘Dance of the Seven Veils.’ This is the dance of the brooms, mops, vacuums and attachments all coming together like an exaggerated performance of Riverdance!! Wednesday, every other week, is always “Operation Clean Sweep.” The precision of Operation Clean Sweep would rival the biggest battles! The duster and polish are in position, the vacuum is propped against the wall and the bucket is filled with hot, soapy water and is making its way to the battle zone starting point.
First up is always Dad’s office. It’s always tidy and usually a vacuum and cleaning the dust from his chair is all it needs. The dust is his friend he tells me. ‘Dust is friendly and won’t kill me.’ But I’m a woman and to me, dust is an enemy, one that has to be destroyed or in the least, broken! His bedroom and bathroom are next. Dust, vacuum, put clothes away, clean the bathroom and mop.
Then the media room. Dark furniture shows dust. It means that the dust has broken the front line, it’s invading the house! The media room is a ‘hands and knees’ dusting operation as I sneak in to make sure the enemy doesn’t see me. The media room takes a while to dispose of the enemy, but it gets done. The rest of the house gets dusted, and then it is on to the kitchen.
As I lift the grates from the cooktop and cringe at the mess, I have to remind myself how much I love the bacon and egg rolls in the morning. (Note to self: cleaning the cooktop is a small price to pay!) Worktops, the sink, the fridge, dishwasher and oven fronts and then it’s on to the coffee machine. (I can see a smudge on the side from where I’m sitting typing this.) Wiping down the countertops is next; I keep going until they literally scream for mercy!!
The small area where we sit can be a tricky one. Wooden unit, glass table and fabric seats. Different surfaces = different products needed. The unit is home to a glass vase which was my 25th anniversary gift from my late husband and a stunning original piece of glassware which was my 50th birthday gift from my dad.
After all that, a vacuum all through the house followed by the hot soapy water and my mop and bucket. There is a lesson to be learned here and that lesson is NEVER pull your bucket along using your mop. What you think is a timesaver in stopping you reaching down for your bucket, invariably ends up being a time-multiplier. Take it from a woman who knows. I’ve tipped the bucket over several times leading to having to soak up the excess water that threatens to run the gauntlet of the tiles and invade every room! But as long as you can laugh about it, what does it matter!!
Saturday 13th July
“Did I turn it off? Did I shut the door
You are heading out to the shops or work. You’ve left your house, backed out of the garage and turned out of the end of your road. All of a sudden, it hits you, just like a piece of two by four to the side of the head. The question hits you. Did I turn the stove off? Or it might be, did I shut the garage door? That classic moment of doubt. Your brain playing with your mind!
Shutting a garage door is such a mundane task that you almost do it on automatic pilot. But when you think about it, you know the answer. Your brain is telling you, ‘Yes I shut the garage door, and I looked in the rear-view mirror to check it had gone down’. But because you questioned your actions, that element of doubt is there. You put the doubt front and centre, and it’s now running rampant through your brain.
You ignore the doubt. You push it to the back of your brain but no matter how much you tell yourself that the door is shut, and the stove is off, you know that you have to go back and check. When you get back to the house, the door is closed, almost like a taunt to you. It’s staring at you as if to say, “you knew it was shut, it’s your own fault.”
Crisis averted. Disaster dodged and now you can get on with your day. Part of me wondered as I drove away, whether tomorrow would be the same, whether I’d doubt myself again. Is it better to doubt yourself or is it a severe case of OCD?? Better to be safe than sorry I say! This is coming from a woman that has driven round the block to double check that the garage is shut. Stop laughing as you read this!!
It’s a small drama but one that is easily laughed at. It’s daily life. Some things we remember, some things we forget. So, next time you find yourself questioning whether you shut the door, remember this tale of triumph and absurdity. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll see it not as a moment of doubt, but as a chance to laugh at life’s little quirks.
Monday 8 July
DIY – A Five Minute Job
My late husband had a saying when it came to DIY. That saying was “Don’t worry, it’s just a 5-minute job.” Of course, you know where this is going don’t you. Five-minute jobs didn’t exist in my husband`s DIY world. Ever!
The Myth of the 5-Minute DIY Job
Ah, the blissful optimism of embarking on a “quick” do-it-yourself project. Armed with determination and everything we needed; we would set out to conquer the home improvement. Little did I know, I was about to dance with the devil of the 5-minute DIY job.
The saga began innocently enough with a simple task: hanging something on the wall. “It’ll take five minutes, tops,” he assured me. After all, he had the hammer and everything he needed…or did he?
Minutes 1-3: The Setup
So, there we are. He is ready with the relevant tools, and I have the item to go on the wall.
Minutes 3-5: The Discovery
Alas, fate had a cruel joke in store. The 5 minutes is almost up already as he realises that he has no rawlplugs.
Minutes 5-60: The Intermission
“We’ll need to go to Bunnings” he says, filling me with an inane sense of dread. I know that every-time we go to Bunnings we come back with things we don’t need and a tool he doesn’t require!
Minutes 60-100: The Twist
Back at the house, we’re ready to go again. The twist……the drill isn’t charged.
Minutes 100 – 120: The Breather
The decision was taken to have a breather as the five-minute job (and it really should have been 5 minutes) was frustrating the hell out of me.
Minutes 120-125: Success.
The final minutes of that couple of hours were successful. The item was hung on the wall. My husband’s comment: “see it did take 5 minutes to hang it.”
Lessons Learned
I learned very quickly into my marriage that 5 minute DIY was a myth. I realised it was something that could not and would not ever happen. But you know what? We always laughed about it after.
But until then, dear reader, heed my tale. Beware the allure of the 5-minute DIY job, for it is a siren song that lures the unsuspecting into a world of things you think you are capable of. May your tools be sharp and your resolve unwavering—for in the end, the truest DIY victories are those hard-earned, even if they take a tad longer than five minutes.
Saturday 6 Jul
Why do expenses all come at once?
Life often throws us financial curveballs, and there’s nothing quite as stressful as having a mountain of expenses hit all at once. A couple times a year this happens to me.
For me, it started in June with the car. The service was due and as expected, there were things which required doing. Then I needed a full set of tyres. Add both of those expenses up, and it was a lot more than I usually have to pay out. I have this all to look forward to again in September. After Marks passing, I had to redo a lot of my bills, house insurance, car insurance and vehicle registration. Subsequently, they all turn up together in the one month leading to hefty expenses. At the same time last year, I needed a new dishwasher at the same time. Murphys law isn’t it, everything turns up at once.
Now, don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a whinge. It’s just me asking one of those questions for which there is never a straight answer for. Why does everything come at once!! Because, sometimes, it just does and we have to figure it out. When the bills arrive together, it’s about evaluating the what’s, why’s and where’s. What is to be paid and what’s the priority. Knowing exactly what you’re up against helps in planning the next steps.
Tapping into emergency savings is sometimes necessary. While I have the bulk of my finances locked into a high interest savings account, I usually keep a little bit aside for emergencies. Between regular bills, medical and costs for the rental, that little bit of extra savings has dwindled over the last couple of years. A dishwasher, new deck, trimming of plants, new pool fence, new side fence, air conditioning fixes, fire alarm testing and other things for the rental saw off a big chunk of that.
Building an emergency fund, budgeting for unexpected expenses, and maintaining good financial habits can provide a buffer against future financial surprises. Regularly reviewing and adjusting your financial plan ensures that you’re better prepared for whatever life throws your way. Everyone has their own way to manage things. I have all my bills on a spreadsheet. It’s something I’ve always done, and I redo every year to reflect changes. While some may think I am crazy for doing that, it’s something I can pull up on my computer and know instantly what to expect. I know exactly how much is coming out of my account every month.
Managing a flood of expenses all at once is undeniably challenging, but with careful planning and a chunk of resourcefulness, it’s possible to navigate through the storm and emerge financially stable on the other side
Friday 28 June
The Lousiest club in the world
Being a widow means you’re part of a club that no one wants to join. You are in the club that has the worst admission price. But here I am. I’ve been in the club for almost 5 years and while it absolutely sucks, you have to make the best of it. You have no choice. I’m one of those people that tries not to stress over things I can’t change. While others may stress, I don’t see the point. If I can’t change it, I just get on with it! We couldn’t change Marks illness, we had to run with it. Yes, it was awful, but our aim was to live life as much and as quickly as possible. We wanted to make memories, even if those memories were as simple as a date night and nice meal. We couldn’t change his end of life. We knew what was coming and when. All we could do was take one step at a time and deal with whatever happened.
For every widow, life varies greatly. No rights. No wrongs. Just your own path.
Emotional Journey – Grief and Loss – The immediate aftermath of a spouse’s death often involves profound grief and a sense of loss. A wide range of emotions are experienced and can be magnified exponentially by how others react. It’s often said the 1,2,3 of loss is child, spouse, parent and having experienced two of those in a short space of time, I do agree.
Identity Shift – A widow faces an identity shift, moving from being part of a couple to being single. This can involve adjusting to new social dynamics and redefining their role within their family and community. A widows identity changes as people who were considered friends step away from them, not knowing what to say. Some friends never return which leaves a widow grieving for the living as well as her loss. This happened to me. One friend was going to call me on Boxing Day 2021. I never received that call and never heard from her again.
The other identity that any widow loses, and I most certainly did, is that you lose the life you would have had. My life is different now. No more date nights, cinema trips, dinners out. No more laying on the sofa binge watching our favourite series together. The little things that people take for granted are gone.
Economic Stability – Financial security can be a major concern. Managing household costs in the initial months is challenging if a widow was not previously involved in financial decision-making. Two years before my husband passed away, we moved house. My husband made sure every bill & everything we owned was put into my name which made life easier. After his death, I did not have to go through the utilities and change things.
Employment – Some widows may need to return to work or increase their working hours. I didn’t go back to work. Straight after Mark, the next couple of years were caring for my mum who was terminally ill at the same time as my husband. After my mum passed, I applied for a few freelance jobs, remote working jobs but when you’re 50 something, companies aren’t looking to hire you.
Support Systems – The presence of a strong support network, including family, friends, and community resources, can significantly impact a widow’s experience. Grief is different for everyone and is commonly misconstrued. Friends and family often try to “fix” grief. They hate seeing someone unhappy and try to remedy that. Platitudes such as ‘they’re in a better place” or “they wouldn’t want to see you like this” are meant well, but in fact do the exact opposite. I had several friends that I have never seen or heard from again since my husband’s death leaving me mourning his loss and the loss of their friendship.
Social Isolation – Rebuilding a social life can be a gradual process. Speaking for myself, I was never an extrovert, never out and about. But it has taken me almost 5 years to find my feet and start doing things again. I’ve been away for 2 solo trips. I’ve been to the cinema and out with friends. I’ve been to the NRL games alone. All small steps but part of a bigger picture.
Daily Living – Adjusting to daily life without a spouse involves practical changes, such as managing household tasks, dealing with legal matters, and making decisions independently. I’ve learned how to use power tools and get many jobs done around the house that never used to be mine to do; even plumbing!
Future Planning – Widows have to re-evaluate their future plans, including retirement, living arrangements, and long-term goals. Mine changed completely. My house went up for rent giving me a ‘salary’ of sorts and I moved back to my parents (their suggestion!). I had to change my will as my previous one was no longer relevant after Marks death. I am constantly planning for the future and doing the math to make sure that I have enough money to last my life.
The life of a widow is a multifaceted journey that involves navigating significant emotional, financial, and social changes. Each widow’s experience is unique, shaped by her personal circumstances and the support she receives. A widow always thinks that life will never get better. Guess what? It doesn’t; you just learn to live with the loss you’ve suffered, and you find ways to take steps forward. I’m a firm believer in that you never move on, but you move forward taking your memories with you.
Thursday June 20th
Top 10 movies of all time
What are the top 10 movies of all time? What you would choose and what I would choose are completely different of course, but I am willing to bet there are some core elements that are the same. I love movies; they are a pure escapism from normal life, the ability to switch off and just revel in the plot. But how do we define the best ones? Character? Plot? The actors you love that are in it? Let’s look at my top 10 and I’ll try and answer that for you. In no particular order (simply because they’re all good and it’s impossible to choose a number.
Top Gun (Maverick) – Now I’ve always been a Tom Cruise fan and ever since my brother introduced me to Top Gun it’s been a favourite. When Top Gun Maverick was released, it quite literally upped the game. The mould was broken for these movies, they achieved something special for the screen, effects never before done. Top Gun Maverick
A Few Good Men– I had never seen this at the cinema. It had been & gone before I met my late husband who was responsible for introducing me to this movie. He had seen it on stage and loved it. So, when it arrived on TV, there I was ready to watch. It has an amazing cast in Tom Cruise, Demi Moore, Kevin Bacon, Kevin Pollak and the incomparable Jack Nicholson. The story is real and best of all….no romance!! – A Few Good Men Review
Saving Private Ryan – I have a passion for World War 2 movies and history. This movies opening 20 minutes sets the scene and is incredibly realistic. My late husband complimented this movie down to the sound of bullets whizzing past your head (he was ex-army). Saving Private Ryan Review
The Shawshank Redemption – Underrated at the time but now considered a cult classic. Morgan Freeman and Tim Robbins share the screen with a raft of actors in an adaption of a Stephen King novella. The Shawshank Redemption Review
Star Wars Episode IV – This was my first ever cinema trip. I was 6 years old and can remember that we went to Barkingside Odeon for a friend’s birthday party. It’s an old favourite simply for that reason. Of course, the feisty Carrie Fisher was great too; a heroine that all young girls related to.
One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest – Jack Nicholson again makes my top 10. A classic from the 70s that examines a mental health hospital and a criminal trying to evade punishment. Nurse Ratched, a sadistic nurse tried to break him. One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest Review
Interstellar – There was just something about this film that ticked all the boxes for me. Great cast in Matthew McConaughey, Jessica Chastain, Anne Hathaway, Matt Damon, Mackenzie Foy, Sir Michael Caine and John Lithgow. Incredible plot, complex in nature. At the heart of the film was the indomitable human spirit that was seen through the complexities of the father/daughter relationship and in the victory of love through the entirety of time and space.
Back to the Future – I can remember seeing this when it was released. I went with my brother. The soundtrack, the story, the cast all combine for what is in the end a feel-good movie. The story is a simple one, but the time travel complexities make for a great twist.
The Departed – A stellar cast is present in this fantastic movie. Set in Boston, we find Leo DiCaprio, Martin Sheen, Mark Wahlberg, Ray Winstone, Matt Damon, Alec Baldwin and Jack Nicholson, as a mixture of cops and mafia. Who is the cop infiltrating the mafia and who is the mafia infiltrating the cops? This phenomenal cast take an amazing story and under the direction of Martin Scorsese bring you something that you cannot tear your eyes away from.
Gladiator – Everyone can relate the infamous “My name is Maximus Decimus Meridias, commander of the armies of the north, general of the Felix legions, loyal servant to the true emperor Marcus Aurelius, father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife, and I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next”. It’s these speeches and their delivery of them that makes this film something special.
A bonus film: Ghostbusters (1984 original)
“Who ya gonna call?” – In 1984 we were on a family holiday and needed something to do one afternoon thanks to the British weather. We headed to the cinema, the one time I remember us all going as a family of 4. Ghostbusters was on and we loved it. My brother and I frequently quote lines when talking. But this year it’s back at the cinema for its 40th anniversary so yes, I’m going.
There you have it! That`s my list. Now what’s yours?
Saturday June 8th
One Tray Dinner
I have recently learned the appeal of ‘one tray dinners.’ Some of you master chefs will know exactly what I mean but for those that don’t, I’m talking, grab your ingredients and throw it all in a roasting tin…quite literally.
My mum used to do ‘one tray dinners’ and I decided that it was my turn. My friends, I can hear you all yelling….yes we know about you and cooking and how Mark did all of it. Fear not….this gal loves her kitchen and cooking!
Here’s what I use for my one tray bake.
Chicken – I’ve taken a liking to Thai chicken satay marinade! Mushrooms, Peppers , Onions, Potatoes, Peas and carrots. (Use anything you like really – it`s your preference)
Oil the roasting tin. Lay the chicken and potatoes in. Chop all your veg to preference. Throw that in the roasting tin, drizzle some oil over it and put in a pre-heated oven. 1 hour at 180 degrees. It’s that simple and trust me when I say…. it’s that delicious!
Saturday June 1st
Breweries
There are so many craft breweries out in the world. How do you decide which ones to visit? Answer: start at the ones closest to home. Back in 2021, I told my dad about a little brewery that I’d found. We headed off to visit Sunshine Brewery. What’s to like? Gorgeous ales, food trucks, great staff & the environment. If I said it was basically like an old shed, you’d wonder what was so good about it. I’d say that it’s a combination of everything, alongside all the pictures and odds and ends on display. Everything on display has been curated by the owners on their travels.
We also found another one about the same distance from home in the other direction. We’d seen the sign for this one as we drove down Kawana Way. It was one of those “we really should try that one day” places until one day, we searched it out. Your Mate’s brewery is found on an industrial estate surrounded by businesses. With ample parking, great environment, ales and beer to choose from, good food all week and great staff…. it’s another brewery with that special something.
Now you want me to tell you what I mean by special something. Well, that something special is personality. The staff in both breweries get to know their clients to the point that when we walk into the Sunshine Brewery, they ask us if we want the usual. The staff know us by name. When I walked into Your Mates with a friend, I was asked by the barman ‘what have you done with your dad? Where is he?’ it’s not just service, it’s quality service. It’s not just quality service, it’s a friendship.
Sunday May 26th
Living with parents – after the age of 45….
Here’s the thing: Over the years, I’ve heard so many people complain—not about bad service or experiences, but about their parents. To anyone who has ever had a bad word to say about their parents, remember this: no one is perfect. It’s your parents’ first try at life and parenting too, so how can they be expected to get everything right? Answer: They can’t.
Through my life, my parents have always been incredibly supportive. When I started my nursing career, they were there for me. When I got engaged just six weeks after meeting my husband, they fully supported me. I’ve shared countless meals, nights in, shopping trips, cinema outings, concerts, holidays, and days out with my mum and dad, savouring every moment. But there is something special I want to share.
When my mum fell ill, she needed one-on-one care, and I was in a position to provide it. I moved back home and spent 14 months caring for her. You’re probably thinking that someone being ill shouldn’t really be defined as ‘special’, but bear with me, and I’ll tell you why it was.
We shared many precious moments, like watching rugby on her iPad, cleaning out her wardrobe and laughing at all the clothes with tags still on, and having deep conversations that led me to interview her for my website. These were truly quality times and memories that I’ll always have; memories that are just mine. Thats the ‘special’.
My relationship with my dad was always good. He worked hard his entire life, starting as a bus driver and eventually becoming the Operations Director of the company. Not bad at all! He retired at 57 and settled into a new rhythm of life. Over the last few years, my relationship with my dad has evolved into something truly special. Parent and child we may be, but we are also great friends. I feel comfortable asking him anything and have heard him tell many stories about his life and life with mum; stories that I didn’t know. (Yes Lee, I have written them down for you.)
Several times a year, we take short trips together, just the two of us. We enjoy going to the cinema, dining out, and spending days exploring new places. We also attend concerts and visit friends. But the time we spend at home is equally fulfilling, just enjoying each other’s company. We can sit together all night without saying a word, because words aren’t always necessary. Staying with Dad after mum enabled me to build new memories with him.
The moral of my story is this: love and appreciate your parents as much as you can. Build your relationships into something special. Ask questions about the time before you were born. Learn about their life and your history. You get one chance to have these relationships. No regrets.
Tuesday 21 May
Every so often I trail through other websites to see what people do. Will I like it? Does it suit me? Will it work with everything else I write about, because let’s face it, I write a lot. ‘Too many ideas and not enough time’ – I should have that on a T-shirt!! Today I looked at a site that had random blog posts about anything and everything. There you have it. The ‘Random Thoughts’ page was born.
Here we are on a Tuesday in May. You’re wondering why I mentioned that aren’t you? You’re thinking, what’s the significance of that? I’ll tell you. Every day seems to blur into the next lately and the week passes in what seems like a click of the fingers. Far too fast. When you’re younger, time slows down and you’re in the frame of mind that you’ll be here forever. As you age that changes. Here I am in my early 50s watching the weeks and months fly past at a frightening pace.
But I digress….Welcome to Random Thoughts. This page will be exactly that, random quotes and thoughts at random times!
