MAY
Music
What were the lyrics John Miles once sang? “Music was my first love, and it will be my last.” This is me, all me. I love music. I have it on all the time, everywhere I go. My Spotify & Bluetooth are set on autoplay so as soon as I get in the car, it starts playing. I have a speaker in my bedroom for music and one in the lounge. Name a lyric, I will give you the next line! See what I mean! Let me give you a few examples.
Dad and I were out with friends talking about music and dad said, “No one would have believed….” to which I naturally responded….”in the last years of the 19th century, that human affairs were being watched from the timeless worlds of space.” (Note to those who have been living under a rock since the 70s, it’s War of the Worlds” by Jeff Wayne.)
Another example that always makes me smile is when my dad says, “This happened once before….” as I continue, “when I came to your door.” Again, for those of you who are not as anally retentive about music lyrics as me, this is “No Reply” by The Beatles.
I love music. I have an eclectic taste that varies often. I went through a Coldplay stage. I listen to Moody Blues with my dad. My late husband was an 80s music fan. My brother when he last visited played his mixture list, which I have to say was eerily similar to mine. But currently I am in a 70s vibe. Think Doobie Brothers, 10cc, Paul Simon, Thin Lizzy, The Police, Madness, James Taylor, The Eagles, ELO, Supertramp, Steely Dan, you’re getting the drift right?
So how do we navigate to certain tastes? For me, it was my dad. I liked the music he played. Mike Oldfield. Yes. The Moody Blues. Genesis. It all resonated with me. My brother has carved his own music path over the years, but I am sure somewhere along the line I had an influence with him listening to Madness!! Madness came to me from my aunty Sally.
I like a good film soundtrack too. Movie songs remind me of a movie which then gives me the memory of watching that film. Perfect example is the Top Gun soundtrack. “Watch this film” my brother said, “you’ll like it” he said. The rest is history as they say.
Music is the keeper of memories, each note holding a precious story. Those stories are our life. Let me demonstrate. Neil Diamond always will hold a special place for me. “Hello” was my late husband and my first dance after being married. Every time I hear Dexys Midnight Runners and “Come on Eileen,” I am reminded how it was my late husband’s favourite. “Viva La Vida” by Coldplay is memories of the concert that I went to. Yes and “Owner of a Lonely Heart” brings a reminder of going to see them with my dad. Peter Gabriel and “Solsbury Hill” – memories of my late husband and his army days stories. See what I mean? That’s just a few – I could go on for pages about songs and what they mean to me.
Try this……Pick 10 songs and/or 10 albums that you like. Then think about why. It’s easier than you think.
APRIL
Looking Forward to Les Miserables.
“I dreamed a dream in time gone by….” Ok, I will stop singing.
Now I love Les Miserables. I cannot deny it.
Ever since Mark took me to see it back in the late 90s, I have just adored it. I will admit, when he said what the storyline was and where it was based, I did wonder what the hell I was letting myself in for, but after that first trip to see it, I was hooked. A month later at Christmas, and the 10th anniversary cd arrived for me as a present and I was well and truly caught, hook, line, and sinker.
When I first saw Les Mis, Colm Wilkinson was Jean Valjean and Phillip Quast was Javert. Two big names in the realms of acting and theatre. Colm later played the bishop in the movie of Les Mis alongside Hugh Jackman. Phillip Quast can be seen in Hacksaw Ridge alongside Andrew Garfield. Colm and Phillip are the best in their roles, that’s not just my opinion, it’s the opinion of many.
When I saw that Les Mis was doing a world arena tour, and coming to Australia, I didn’t care how much this was going to cost, I was going. I carefully picked the date to ensure that Alfie Boe would be playing Jean Valjean and Michael Ball would be playing Javert. The tickets were bought, dinner is booked, the date is set. Who am I taking with me? Why the “Master of the house” of course!
MARCH
New Car
Theres an age old saying when you make big purchases. You ask yourself three questions.
- Do I want it?
- Do I need it?
- Can I afford it?
If you can say yes to two of the three, it is a reasonable purchase. It’s not a rule written in stone but it is a good guideline. Now when the man of the house has been debating a new Prado for some time, (and I am talking a couple of years!) it was time to quite literally put his money where his mouth is.
The new car is here and parked up in the garage. It’s got a couple of thousand km on the clock already and has been out through the day and in the evening. The new car is all singing and all dancing. The onboard computer seems to be more intelligent that some humans I have met.
Drift over the white line? The car steers you back. Get too close to the car in-front? The car slows your speed. Have your hi beam lights on and someone is driving towards you? Don’t worry, the car will fix that and do them automatically for you. See what I mean? It’s more intelligent than a human being! Don’t get me wrong. All these things are efficient but to have them working well, you need to get the settings all as you want them. If you’re not computer literate, here’s where you grab a five-year-old to help you!!!!!
But in all seriousness, the car is great. It’s comfortable. It’s fuel efficient. It looks good. Most importantly, the man of the house is happy with it!
FEBRUARY
20 years in Australia
It was 20 years ago that my late husband and I first set foot on Australian soil. Arriving naively, with little research done, we decided: regardless of any homesickness or challenges, we would give this new life two years. At the end of that period, we would reassess—if either of us was unhappy, we’d return. Yet, after just two weeks, I glanced at Mark, and he at me, and we knew. “Are you thinking what I am?” he asked with a smile. We raised our glasses and toasted “forever.” It felt right, and I stand by that decision. Even after his passing, when people asked if I would “return home,” my response was always the same: “I am home.” I was blessed with 14 years by Mark’s side here; now, I approach the sixth year without him.
On 9th February, I marked my 20-year “Ozzie-versary”—two decades in a country that once seemed so distant from my life in the UK. In that time, I have gained invaluable life experiences I’d never have known back home. I have met family members I otherwise would not have met. Naturally, I have also lost loved ones in both countries too.
Friendships have come and gone—often unexpectedly, especially after Mark’s passing. There are steadfast, consistent friendships that began from the moment I arrived. Sui McPherson and I cherish our shared memories, particularly those Saturdays with red wine and dessert in The Nook. But some friendships did not last the test of time. Being ghosted by a friend is hurtful and leaves one wondering what went wrong, thats happened to me too.
But what have I learned personally in these 20 years? I’ve learned I have more confidence and skills than I give myself credit for. That I can manage about 75% of household tasks/jobs independently (thank you, Google!). I’ve discovered that solo getaways are essential for recharging. I know that it is okay to say no to others, and if their opinion of me changes, that is their concern, not mine. Most importantly, I have cherished family. I have over 40 years of family memories, but those with my mum during her illness hold a special place. Our one-on-one time became invaluable to me. Whether it was sharing ice cream, clearing her clothes out, her complimenting my cooking or watching rugby, every minute was unbelievably special.
Since then, Dad and I have shared his home; I have lived with him for over five years now. We share a love of music and travel. I have got back to drinking port and a little red wine (ok, the occasional G&T as well.) We binge watch favourite TV series and enjoy times at the cinema, the theatre and being out for dinner. What I like though, is that sometimes days are so quiet, and no words are needed between us. We are just content with our lot.
So, my first 20 years has gifted me love, laughs, tears, trips, concerts, and memories. What will the next 20 bring?
JANUARY
Live your own Life
We live in a world that is driven by social pressures and expectations. We cannot escape it. The world of social media hands us “influencers” that look perfect, always say the right things, and have a seemingly perfect life. Society gives us opinions from all directions: family, friends, colleagues, and even strangers. While advice and guidance can be helpful, the challenge lies in distinguishing between advice that serves your best interests and external pressure that tries to shape your life according to others’ standards. The idea of “doing what you want and not what others think you should do” is a powerful declaration of personal freedom, self-awareness, and authenticity. It is essential to recognise that no one else can define what will make you happy.
The Danger of Living for Others’ Expectations
From an early age, many people are conditioned to meet external expectations. Parents may have ideas about the type of career their children should pursue; society may suggest what “success” looks like, often tied to wealth, status, or achievement. While these suggestions may come from a place of love or concern, they can often limit individuality. The pressure to conform can be especially strong in an age of social media, where everyone seems to be curating a perfect life. This constant comparison can lead to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and self-doubt. When we allow others’ beliefs to dictate our decisions, we risk becoming trapped in a cycle of unfulfilling choices. We may achieve things that others celebrate but still feel empty inside, realising that we followed a path that wasn’t our own.
The Power of Self-Discovery
When you make decisions based on your own desires, rather than what others think you should do, you take full ownership of your life. This does not mean disregarding the wisdom of others entirely—it simply means recognising that you are the best person to judge and understand your needs, desires, and strengths. Self-discovery is a continuous process, but when you choose to follow your authentic path, you allow yourself to grow in ways that align with who you are. This might mean deviating from the expected trajectory—pursuing an unconventional career, taking a gap year to travel, or ending a relationship that no longer serves your happiness. While these decisions may be met with confusion or even disapproval, the inner satisfaction of living true to yourself is invaluable.
Courage and Vulnerability
The courage to follow your own path requires vulnerability. It is not easy to go against the grain, especially when you fear judgment or criticism. But living authentically requires accepting that you cannot please everyone, nor should you try. No one else walks in your shoes, and no one else has your unique combination of passions, dreams, and abilities. Being brave enough to live for yourself rather than for others can lead to a life of fulfilment, growth, and true happiness. It is about embracing your individuality and choosing a life that reflects your values. Yes, it might be uncomfortable at times, but discomfort often signals growth.
The Long-Term Rewards of Authenticity
Choosing to do what you want, not what others think you should do, has long-term rewards. Authentic living fosters self-confidence, inner peace, and a deep sense of purpose. When you live in alignment with your values, decisions become clearer, and you gain a sense of ownership over your life’s direction. It is also liberating. You no longer feel bound by the expectations of others, and your actions are driven by what brings you joy, fulfilment, and meaning. Moreover, when you pursue your own dreams, you often inspire others to do the same. Authenticity is contagious. By choosing to be yourself, you may encourage those around you to shed their own insecurities and take bolder steps in their own lives.
Conclusion
The advice to “do what you want and not what others think you should do” is about reclaiming your personal agency and embracing your unique journey. While we can learn from others, the most profound growth comes from following our own hearts. The world may try to impose its version of success upon us, but it is up to each individual to define what success looks like. When you trust yourself and make choices that align with your true self, you create a life that is not only meaningful to you but also a testament to your authenticity.
