JANUARY
Living with Dad since 2020
After the loss of Mark in 2019, and mum needing full time care, it was time to make a change in my life. That change came in the form of moving home to my parents’ house. That way, I was on hand for the 24/7 care that mum needed, and I could support my dad too.
That was January 2020. I am still living with my dad today. On the 23rd of January it will have been 5 years. One might wonder how I could live with parents in my late 40s, early 50s. Well, do you know what? I cannot think of a negative. I really can’t. But here are the positives.
- While mum was sick, and I gave 1:1 care, we shared many laughs. Special moments that were just ours.
- When mum passed away, the decision to stay was an easy one. I have my own area of the house. My own lounge, bedroom, and bathroom.
- It has enabled me to create memories with my dad, special memories that I’d never have had the chance to have if I were just visiting on occasions or popping in.
- I’ve shared many short trips with my dad and visited places I’d never seen.
- The most precious gifts that the time together has given me are the stories he shares about time with mum, as well as the quality time with him.
I guess the moral to this post is simple. Do not let time pass you by. Talk to your parents and ask questions. Learn about their life before you came into it. Create memories with your parents. There will be a time when memories are all you have.
New Year – Resolutions and the absurdity of it all.
New Year’s resolutions can be wonderfully crazy. It’s like the human race collectively decides that NYD is some magical moment when we can suddenly start to transform into perfect versions of ourselves. The trouble is, we forget the complexities of life and our own limitations.
Unrealistic Goals – We set ourselves up with lofty resolutions—lose 50 pounds, run a marathon, become fluent in a language, and meditate for an hour every day—all while working 50-hour weeks and trying to keep some semblance of a normal life. The disconnect between ambition and the reality of daily life is one of the most absurd parts. We strive to do something special. Why? We are special anyway.
New Year, New Me, Myth – The idea that January 1st is some mystical reset button that can wipe out the previous year’s habits (or 10 years’ worth of habits) is more hopeful thinking than practical.
The Pressure to Improve Everything at Once – We must go all in. Entire life or nothing at all. Get organized, learn a new skill, improve our health, nurture relationships, declutter our homes, be kinder to ourselves… It is like trying to rewrite a whole book in one sitting when it might be better to work on just a chapter at a time.
The Dieting Cycle – The classic “I’m going to eat healthier, start the gym, and cut out all carbs”—and then by January 3rd, you are back to shoving down pizza while binge-watching Netflix. The immediate sense of failure when we don’tstick to these extreme resolutions is almost as predictable as the resolutions themselves. Let’s face it, who hasn’t said this at some time in their life! Hands up……admit it……
The Guilt Trip – The societal pressure to make resolutions is like this invisible weight that hangs around your neck. If you do not have one, you might feel you are not trying hard enough to better yourself.
Resolutions are like a collective illusion we all subscribe to, giving us a fresh start. Remember that social media photos are false usually. There are no aspirations to reach. You do not need to look perfect. You do not need to have the perfect house. The best “resolution” you can have is to continue living your life exactly the way you want.
