Afterwards

You read the words. You feel the pain. 

You see their face. You hear their sounds. 

You see the look. You feel the love. 

You want them back.  Not possible. 

Its hard to say what grief is like.

Not like falling off a bike. 

You don’t get back on  and carry on as if before.

Its hard to hear “I  know how you feel. “

You scream, “you don’t! It isn’t real.”

Life has changed irreparably.

Never the same , never will be.

No matter what you say or do.

Life has changed too much for me, not you. 

I don’t see your grief, wrapped up in mine. 

How can I see through my hazy mind. 

My mind is cotton wool wrapped memories.

They are for no one else. They’re just for me. 

Don’t want to share them, they’re not free.

My grief and memories are only mine.

Wrapped in my head, make me cry or smile.